In your self-discovery and personal development journey, an important (yet often overlooked) step is defining your core values. This goes beyond understanding your personality, behavioral traits, and strengths and weaknesses. You can think of your core values as your personal North Star – the values and beliefs you live by and prioritize. Your core values are what you believe in, what you stand for, and what you ultimately consider to be the most important things in your life.

Everyone has completely different core values, whether they prioritize spending time with family, physical health and wellness, personal growth and learning new things, humor and laughter, confidence and leadership, building a business or career, relationships and connections, financial security, religious beliefs, helping others, or something else entirely. As unique beings with vastly different life experiences, every person’s core values will vary. 

Getting clarity on your core values can help you when you’re at a crossroads, facing difficult decisions or setbacks, making life transitions, or feeling lost or stuck in your life. They’ll keep you in check as you navigate life, guiding you toward what’s most important to you.

There are no right or wrong answers to what your core values are – that’s the point, really, that it’s deeply personal. Again, every person is unique, with their own value systems and priorities. This is not about what you think others want or expect from you, or what you’ve been conditioned to believe you ‘should’ value. It’s about what matters to you, what you want to focus on and prioritize in life, and who you authentically are.

Let’s face it: life gets in the way, and we can all get caught up in the routine and monotony of it all, and we can lose sight of what’s driving us. Most of us are just reacting to what life throws our way:

• not being intentional about who we are
• no clear idea of what we want in life or where we’re going
• not knowing what genuinely lights us up or gives us meaning and fulfillment
• not aligning our thoughts and actions with our intentions and goals.

Getting clarity on your core values will ensure you’re living life on your terms.

A few quick notes about this process:

• Be patient with yourself. I fully understand the desire to figure everything out right now. It’s easy to get impatient with yourself, judge yourself, or try to rush the process. But keep in mind that this takes time.
• Your values can certainly change over time. As you learn and grow, and as your life circumstances change, your core values and priorities will likely shift.
• Personal growth is a lifelong journey – just do your best with the information you have and with where you are in life.
• It’s okay to not have all the answers, and it’s okay for it to take time to get really clear on what you value.

So here’s your mission, should you choose to accept it: figure out what your core values are.

First: List out all of the things that are important to you. Don’t try to list them in any particular order, and don’t be critical or judgmental about what comes to your mind – just simply write out everything that comes to your mind. 

Reflect on your past and present experiences and what you desire for your future. These can be traits, beliefs, hobbies, lifestyles, careers, causes, what inspires you, what energizes you and gives you a sense of purpose, your non-negotiables in life, and what makes you feel like your most authentic, aligned self.

Here’s a list of ideas for core values. By no means is this list exhaustive – as I mentioned before, everyone has completely different values – but hopefully this list gets the wheels turning:

Adventure, Travel, Fun, Humor, Creativity, Kindness, Integrity, Gratitude, Family, Passion, Honesty, Consistency, Reliability, Education, Wisdom, Volunteering, Authenticity, Freedom, Security, Patience, Adventure, Compassion, Connection, Loyalty, Success, Spirituality, Communication, Confidence, Power, Strength, Leadership, Influence, Balance, Health, Prosperity, Happiness, Abundance, Independence, Decisiveness, Competence, Growth, Service, Luxury, Peace, Simplicity… you get the gist. This list could go on forever, and yours may look completely different – and that’s the point.

Next, group together similar items to find common themes. As you’ve listed out your values, you’ll likely find that certain themes emerge. These are your core values shining through. Are there any that can be combined into an overarching theme? For example, maybe you have traveling, exploring, being in nature, and meeting new people – those could all be grouped together as a core value of ‘adventure’ or ‘exploration.’ Or maybe you have writing, playing music, photography, and art on your list – those could be combined into ‘creativity’ or ‘artistic expression.’ Don’t force things together, but group together the values that make sense to do so. 

Now you’ll work on prioritizing them from greatest importance to least. Again, this isn’t about what looks good on paper, or what others say you should prioritize, this is all about being honest with your authentic self. Once you have put them in order, the goal here is to narrow your list of core values down to your top 5.

If everything seems important, ask yourself, “If I could only live by one of these values, which would it be?” Keep going until you’ve identified your top five. If you have more or less, that’s okay too, but try to narrow down to your top 5 most important values.

There may be moments when a couple of your core values may conflict with one another and require a decision. Is there a way you can incorporate both? For example, if family and adventure are both on your list of core values, you could take your family on an adventure like camping, hiking, a vacation, exploring something new in your town, etc.

If there’s honestly no way to incorporate both, then the value with the highest priority is what you will choose in those situations. If you have been honest with yourself while doing this process, there will be no guilt, shame, or regrets about it because you’ve chosen what aligns the most with you.

It’s important to note that your core values may change over time. Though the values you’ve listed may consist of your current priorities, life is ever-changing. New experiences, circumstances, and life events and changes will inevitably happen, and your priorities and values will likely evolve – that’s a part of growth. This isn’t a one-and-done process, so it’s a good idea to check in and reflect on your values often to keep them top-of-mind and ensure they still resonate with you.

Keep your list of core values somewhere you can see and reference them often, especially when you’re faced with difficult decisions, are setting goals, or are looking into new opportunities or pursuits. It’s like having a roadmap to stay on the path to your most authentic, intentional life.

Next, it’s time to put these core values into action by living them out. It’s one thing to know your core values, but another to actually implement them into your life. If these are your main priorities and values, you’re likely implementing them to some extent, though you may not have been aware of it. But now you can intentionally put them into practice. 

For example, if one of your core values is creativity, ask yourself how you can find ways to use your creativity in your daily life. Maybe that looks like playing an instrument or drawing in your free time. Or maybe you love to write and could start a blog of your own, or incorporate more creative writing into your role at work. Or maybe it’s finding ways to do more creative problem-solving, implementing more fun and creativity into what you do, or finding a job that better aligns with your inner creativity so you have more fulfillment in your work. 

Maybe one of your core values is adventure. Ask yourself if you can find new places to explore that are in (or near) your city, or actually take those vacation days you’ve been saving up and travel somewhere you’ve always wanted to go, or simply enjoy being in nature more often by walking or riding your bike at a park or by a lake, for example.

Figure out ways to implement your core values into your daily life. I’m confident that having this clarity as a roadmap will help guide you toward a more aligned and fulfilling life that you are designing with intention. 

Action Steps:

• Brainstorm and write out your values
• Order them by priority and narrow them down to your top 5 core values
• Keep them visible so you can refer to them often (a piece of paper by your desk at work or beside your bed, making it your cell phone or desktop background, using a notepad app on your phone, etc.)
• Find ways to incorporate them into your daily life as much as you can

By understanding and embracing your core values, you’re setting yourself up for a life on your terms. This journey towards clarity and authenticity is a game-changer, and I’m excited to hear how this process goes for you!