Every personality type in the Enneagram system is defined by its core underlying motivations. These core motivations for each type consist of the Core Desire, Core Fear, Core Weakness, and Core Longing. In this post, I will be sharing each type’s core longing.
P.S. – If you haven’t done so already, you should check out the following posts in which I’ve covered the other core motivations for each type:
The Enneagram Core Longing is the message each type longs to hear and believe about themselves. When having the core desires, core fears, and core weaknesses that each type deals with, they learn to cope with those in their own unique ways. Similarly, each type has a message they want to hear and believe about themselves, in which they find comfort, security, value, and acceptance.
Enneagram Type 1
The Enneagram Type 1s have the core longing to know and believe that they are good. They are so driven by being good, ethical, right, and doing the right thing that they have extremely high standards for themselves and the world. This can make Type 1s uptight and rigid in unhealthier states, when they become critical when the world doesn’t align with their impossibly high standards. Enneagram Type 1s want to know that it’s okay to make mistakes, to be human, and that they are worthy and loved just as they are. They long to know that they truly are good.
Enneagram Type 2
The Type 2s long to hear that they are loved and appreciated for being themselves as they are, not because of what they do for others. Enneagram Type 2s are driven by a desire to support and help others so that, in turn, they can be loved and appreciated. It’s how they see themselves contributing value and having self-worth. However, Type 2s can overextend themselves for the sake of others, which can lead to resentment, anger, burnout, and neglecting their own needs and self-care.
Enneagram Type 3
The Type 3s long to hear that they are loved and accepted simply for being who they are, not just by what they accomplish. The Type 3s will fall into the trap of putting on a mask and being a ‘chameleon’ of sorts, putting their best image forward and wanting to be accepted and valued for their appearance of being successful, of value, driven, and accomplished. This can lead them to suppress (and even forget) their authentic selves and desires/needs, while also burning out by overworking themselves in order to keep up appearances.
Enneagram Type 4
The Type 4’s core longing is to hear and believe that they are seen and accepted for exactly who they are, unique and special. Enneagram Type 4s are driven by the desire to be unique and to stand out, wanting to find their significance, express their inner world and emotions, and to be wholly authentic and nothing else. For a Type 4, they often feel like an outsider looking in, wanting to be seen and appreciated for being different and unique while simultaneously wanting to belong and to have meaning/significance.
Enneagram Type 5
The Type 5’s core longing is to know and believe that their needs are not a burden. That it’s okay to have needs, to set boundaries, and to ask for help. To a Type 5, others can come across as extremely needy or clingy because they can’t take care of themselves, or refuse to do so without expressing it in some fashion. Type 5s typically don’t like to ask for help – they tend to observe and analyze problems so they can figure things out and not have to rely on others for help. This can often lead to them forgetting to take care of themselves, or isolating and not asking for help from others because they don’t want to be a burden.
Enneagram Type 6
The core longing of the Type 6 is to know and believe that they are safe and secure. For many Type 6s, anxiety and fear is a primary driver of their actions (and reactionary behavior). They are often looking for (and anticipating) the worst case scenarios, even if they never come true. Type 6s are longing to be at peace and know that they have safety and security, and to trust that everything is going to be okay.
Enneagram Type 7
The Enneagram Type 7s long to hear and believe that they will be taken care of. From an early age, Type 7s often report that they felt neglected at a young age, and felt the need to entertain and take care of themselves and their own needs. They want to know that nothing is missing and that they have everything that they need within themselves. Type 7s are driven by the desire to experience new things and fear missing out on something better or more important. This can cause Type 7s to struggle with gluttony, feeling that nothing will ever satisfy them no matter what, and it makes it difficult for 7s to be in (and appreciate) the present moment.
Enneagram Type 8
The Type 8s long to know and believe that they will not be betrayed. Type 8s are driven by the fear of being vulnerable and controlled by others, and they often will be assertive and not let others take advantage of them, overpower them, or get away with taking advantage of others in their circle. They want to know that it’s okay to be vulnerable with others and that they are safe in doing so.
Enneagram Type 9
The Core Longing of the Type 9 is to know that their voice and their presence matters. So many Type 9s are working incredibly hard to keep the peace in their environment, and that lends itself to suppressing their own voice, needs, and desires in order to make that happen. But that is not a healthy way to be – you are a person, just like everyone else. You have needs, opinions, thoughts to share, and a voice to be heard – don’t suppress it in fear of rocking the boat.
Do you know your Enneagram type? If so, did these Core Longing messages resonate with you? If you’re still trying to figure out your Enneagram type, start with the core motivations. Check out this post, where I share an overview of the 9 Enneagram Types and Their Core Motivations.
