Self-discovery is such a profound piece of the personal growth process. Rather than simply going through the motions day to day, self-discovery and personal growth enable you to:
- Understand the motivations behind your actions
- Get clarity on your core values, strengths, weaknesses, and common pitfalls you experience
- Find work, hobbies, and other opportunities that align with your interests and strengths
- Build stronger relationships and connect better with others
- Find purpose and meaning in your work, activities, and life
- Be able to navigate life more intentionally.
Over the last few years, I became extremely interested in learning about personality types. I started by diving into the MBTI (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, commonly referred to as the 16 personalities) world. A few months later, I discovered and started to learn about the Enneagram.
I found out how the Enneagram and Myers-Briggs work differently. With Myers-Briggs, you’re focusing on Carl Jung’s definition of the eight different cognitive functions, four of which each person prefers, all stacked differently – the combination and order of the usage of these functions define the personality type.
So, MBTI focuses more on how your mind is wired – giving you insights into how your brain works and what it prefers and prioritizes. This, in turn, helps you understand your actions and behaviors.
With the Enneagram, each type is defined by its core motivations. Instead of learning about how the mind is wired and the behaviors of your type, you learn about the motivations and reasons behind your actions.
That’s obviously a high-level overview, but you can see how learning about just these two personality systems can provide impactful insights into who you are and what drives you.
As you learn about the different personality types, you can also better understand other people’s perspectives, helping you in relationships, collaborating and working together, and navigating conflicts. By simply being aware of these things at a surface level, whether or not you choose to dive deeper into learning more about personality types, I’m sure you can see how powerful it is to gain deeper self-awareness and how it can help you in different areas of your life.
In this post, we’ll explore the Enneagram’s role in self-discovery, why it’s crucial for personal growth, and how you can start using it today.
What is the Enneagram
As I’ve shared in previous posts, the Enneagram is a personality framework describing different worldview lenses and core motivations that humans experience. It’s a 9-pointed figure, each point representing the 9 Enneagram types, and shows how each type has a core fear, core desire, core weakness, and a core longing – among other ways that have further been defined – attributed to each of the 9 types.
The Enneagram is not about behaviors or the way your brain is wired. Instead, the Enneagram defines each type by those core motivations – the reason why behind your behaviors, rather than just the ‘what.’
Many people will take a test, say that the result is their type, and just move about their lives. However, it goes much deeper than that for true transformational growth.
First of all, tests aren’t the most reliable. I think they’re great at helping you narrow down which type could be yours, but identifying your type solely comes down to which of the core motivations most resonate with you and the ‘why’ behind your actions, behaviors, and even how you have come to face different obstacles, roadblocks, conflicts, etc. in life.
Identifying which Enneagram type you are is just the beginning. The true growth of utilizing the Enneagram comes after you learn how to see your patterns in action, helping you develop a greater sense of self-awareness. You start to learn and see how you act when you’re in an unhealthy headspace or under significant stress, certain things that you do at a default level, how you show up in the world when you’re doing well and on your path of growth and integration/health, and how you can work to get to those healthier states more often.
The Importance of Self-Discovery for Personal Growth
Let’s take a look at the importance of self-discovery for personal growth utilizing the Enneagram. By becoming aware of your motivations, fears, patterns, and deeply-rooted habits, you will begin to see how you tend to wind up facing similar issues, why you feel stuck in certain areas of your life, what is making you feel unfulfilled, or what can be improved in your communication and relationships with others. Developing self-awareness means noticing your thoughts and behaviors and becoming more aware of how you’re showing up in the world on a daily basis.
The power of self-discovery is not only recognizing what happens but also getting a deeper understanding of why these thoughts and behaviors are happening. That’s why I believe the Enneagram is so powerful because it is a framework built on the core motivations of each type, and the why behind the thoughts and behaviors.
The Enneagram is like a roadmap. It helps illuminate where you are, getting awareness of your core desires and ego-defense/coping mechanisms. It also shows you how to notice when you’re going off-course in those unhealthy or stressful moments in life. And it helps guide you by showing the path toward a healthier, integrated headspace and personal growth.
Additionally, learning about your Enneagram type will help you learn to recognize and navigate obstacles as they arise, as well as how to communicate with others and gain more understanding and empathy for other people and their perspectives by learning about the other Enneagram types.
Signs You’re Ready for Enneagram-Focused Self-Discovery
Do you feel like you’ve been stuck in a loop, repeating many of the same behaviors, experiences, and outcomes in your life?
Do you often feel misunderstood, or do you have difficulty understanding and relating to other people and their perspectives?
Have you tried self-discovery using other personality typing systems but still feel like you need deeper insights about who you are, what drives you, and finding purpose?
Are you seeking an approach to personal growth that goes beyond descriptions of basic strengths and weaknesses but dives deeper into your internal motivations and addresses the why behind what you do?
If these things resonate with you, learning about your Enneagram type can help you identify when you’re falling into those repeating patterns and what keeps you stuck and better understand your inner motivations and the perspective of others. It also provides insights and practical tips for moving intentionally in the direction of growth in your life and relationships.
The Enneagram is not about labeling you or putting you into a box. It helps you identify what’s keeping you stuck in limiting patterns and thoughts and enables you to grow and step out of the box you’re stuck in.
The Practical Steps to Begin Self-Discovery Through the Enneagram
Identify Your Enneagram Type Accurately
Remember that the Enneagram types are defined by their core motivations. You can take online tests to help you move in the right direction and start to narrow down the list of types you identify with the most, but an online test is going to have it’s limitations. Don’t overidentify with your result. You will find your type as you become more aware of the core motivations of all of the Enneagram types and deeply identify with one based on many different factors which I’ll cover throughout more content on this site.
There are many fantastic resources out there, but I implore you to do your own research. It takes time – for example, it’s taken me over two years to fully feel confident in my type (and many times, I’ll find myself identifying with other types in certain ways and question if that type is more aligned with who I am). Discovering your type is a process, but it’s totally worth it. I’ve learned so much about myself in this 2+ year process, and fully believe the same can happen for you as well.
I highly recommend these books for your Enneagram journey:
- The Enneagram Made Easy by Elizabeth Wagele
- The Enneagram Guide To Waking Up by Beatrice Chesnut and Uranio Paes
- The Road Back To You by Ian Morgan Chron and Suzanne Stabile
- What’s Your Enneatype by Liz Carver and Josh Green
There are many other resources out there (books, YouTube channels, and podcasts) by Don Richard Riso and Ross Hudson, Beth and Jeff McCord, Tom Lahue, and many more.
Again, while taking tests and listening to content can be very helpful in identifying your Enneagram type, it can only truly be found through personal introspection. Even if an Enneagram coach or an expert says that you’re a certain type, only you can truly know for certain.
Look At Your Core Motivations
First, reflect on your core motivations: Your Core Desire, Core Fear, Core Weakness, and Core Longing. These are the defining factors of each of the nine Enenagram types, so this process will help you get clarity on which one(s) most resonate with you from the descriptions. This process is about being honest with yourself, not just going based on how you wish you could be, or what you think would gain you validation – it’s about who you authentically are at your core.
Some questions to ask yourself would be:
- What patterns do I notice repeating in my life
- What would I consider to be the worst possible thing in life
- How do I typically act when I’m stressed out or in an unhealthy headspace
- What patterns do I notice in relationships
There may be more than one description that you find yourself identifying with, but there is one that truly defines your core motivations, one that has been with you since childhood. Understand that while we all exhibit certain behaviors from other types that add nuance to our personality, (this is where deeper parts, such as wings, instinctual variants, arrows of integration and disintegration, triad groupings, and other things come into play later), the important thing you look at first is the core motivations.
Explore Your Type’s Wings, Instincts, Arrows & More
Once you have identified your core type, you can look into the wings, instincts, and growth/stress arrows of your type to see how you can show up in the world similarly to other types, traits you may borrow from other types, and even how someone else who shares your type may look completely different in the ways they show up in the world. Remember, the Enneagram is not about actions and behaviors; the core motivations behind the behaviors define each type.
Set Growth-Oriented Goals
By getting clarity on your Enneagram type, you can start to identify many of the ways the core motivations are showing up in your daily life. You can also start to understand how it affects your relationships, work environment, home environment, and more.
Next, you can begin to set goals and intentions based on your type’s key challenges and weaknesses, and find ways to move toward and integrate the more healthy aspects of personal growth and connections with others.
Avoid These Enneagram Pitfalls
There are some incredible insights for personal growth and developing self-awareness with the Enneagram. However, there are also a few pitfalls to watch out for.
1. Getting Stuck in Over-Identifying with Your Type
Once you find your type, it can be tempting to start to use your type as an excuse for your behaviors, or to limit yourself to certain things because of your type. By learning about your type you are at the starting blocks of being able to develop self-awareness and work on your personal growth journey using the Enneagram, it’s not a final label.
2. Using the Enneagram to Judge Others
I hope that this wasn’t on your mind before I mentioned it, but, unfortunately, I see it on the internet quite a bit – don’t judge other people for their Enneagram type. The Enneagram is a tool to use for self-awareness and understanding yourself, not labeling or judging other people (or yourself).
As I mentioned before, the Enneagram is a way to identify how your core motivations keep you stuck, and it’s important to keep in mind that it’s not your job to try to fix other people or tell them how to live, nor is it your place to judge them, but also Enneagram types are experience various levels of health. By identifying your type, you can start to work towards integration and growth, and everyone is on their own journey in their own time.
3. Expecting Instant Transformation
As awesome as the Enneagram is as a roadmap for self-discovery and personal growth, it is not a magic wand. Just like any other personal growth work, it takes time and patience, consistent self-observation, a willingness to learn and to change, and self-acceptance and self-compassion.
I have experienced frustrations myself where I have been very self-critical and beat myself up for not doing better or things moving faster, but it’s important to remember that this is a process and it’s all about going at your own pace and taking what works for you in your personal growth journey.
Personal Reflections – My Enneagram 9 Perspective
As an Enneagram Type 9, I have found a ton of growth by understanding the core motivations of my type, and these were so unconscious to me that I didn’t even recognize them when I first read about the Enneagram and my type.
After a lot of self-observation, personal growth work, learning and researching (and going back and forth between several different types depending on the week – any fellow type 9s relate?), as well as conversations with others, I’ve been able to see where I’ve been keeping myself stuck, repeating similar patterns, and using my type’s defense mechanism of narcotization throughout most of my life.
This helped me to identify the reason behind many of my actions, even at a default/subconscious level, and see why I struggled to move forward in areas for a long time, including career, relationships, and even hobbies/downtime.
Learning about the Enneagram and my Type 9 tendencies, I have been actively able to work on growth, finding balance, managing stress, identifying my core values, and start taking action and intentionally working towards what I truly want in life.
Additional Questions & Things to Address
If you have difficulty narrowing your type down to just one, you’re certainly not alone. It’s completely normal to identify with parts of multiple types, and this comes down to a few different reasons (we can blend traits from different types or look like different types due to our wings, subtypes, integration/disintegration paths, triads, and even our upbringing and nurturing from childhood).
Additionally, every person integrates a little bit of traits from every type, but there is only one that is considered to be the core type.
It took me a long time of going back and forth between a few different Enneagram types to determine which type I am. The key is to start with the core motivations. If you find it still to be inconclusive, continue to read and study the types you most identify with. Remember, it’s about these core motivations of each type and not the actions or behaviors.
Conclusion
Self-awareness with the Enneagram will help you experience transformational personal growth and a more fulfilling and purposeful life, and I’m excited you’re here and interested in learning more about it!
If you’re brand new to the Enneagram and don’t know your type, I recommend that you read about the Core Motivations of Each Type in this post. By learning about your personality type using the Enneagram, you can work to identify your core motivations and integrate Enneagram-based insights into your daily life.
If you’re still uncertain and would like to work with me, reach out to schedule a one-on-one virtual session, and we can work on getting clarity on your type!
